


Sixteen Years

by Nemesis (ThetaSigma), ThetaSigma



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anniversary, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:32:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6029578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/Nemesis, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThetaSigma/pseuds/ThetaSigma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Fin celebrate sixteen years together with a party, and Fin reflects on their relationship. Mentions events from <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5965033">Conversations With Dr. Huang</a> and <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/5967559">Pieces</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sixteen Years

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions events from [Conversations With Dr. Huang](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5965033) and [Pieces](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5967559).

They had decided to throw a party for their 16th anniversary. Not only was it the longest relationship either of them had ever had, it was longer than all of Munch’s previous marriages _put together_ , and he felt like that was something worth celebrating. Not to mention that he and Fin had been together _sixteen_ years without either one of the two prickly men doing something dumb enough to screw it up.

“Who do we invite?” John asked.

“Squad, of course,” Fin said. “I suppose that means we have to invite Carisi and Dodds, too. I know you don’t know them, hon, but…”

“No need to break up the squad, my love. They’re your colleagues.”

“Barba, naturally.”

“He’d come with Liv, anyway.”

“Ken and Alejandro, and I’m guessing they’ll bring Amy.” Fin’s eyes took on a wicked gleam. “Your ex-wives.”

“Ah, for that nasty touch. Only if we invite yours.”

Fin shuddered.

John continued, “Besides, bad idea, one of them still carries a torch for me, and unless you _want_ her drinking and sobbing drunkenly on my shoulder about how she lost me and is taking her medications and we can absolutely get back together now, best not.”

Fin started laughing. He had met the ex-wife in question during one of their cases, and he could absolutely picture the scene in his head. John would probably awkwardly pat her shoulder and shoot increasingly desperate looks at him. Fin _knew_ he’d hang back and say nothing, just prolong the torture, probably while snickering.

“If Amy’s coming, we should let Liv and Amanda know they can bring their kids,” Fin said once he had pulled himself together. The party would be bedeviled with children, but it was worth it to see John playing with them. John might say that he was completely unsuited to be a parent, and maybe he was right, but the man had an absolutely adorable soft side when it came to children, and Fin adored seeing it.

“Is there anyone you want to invite?” Fin asked.

John nodded. “Huang’s back in town. Considering how we started, we should absolutely invite him.”

Fin laughed, thinking of their first ‘I love you’. “Anyone else?”

“We have enough for a party, Fin, the old, well, family.”

Fin smiled at him.

“Oh,” Fin said suddenly. “We should push Carisi and Amanda together. Those two have been mooning over each other for months now, and a little gentle encouragement couldn’t hurt.”

“I thought I was the _shadchan_ ,” John laughed. Fin frowned. John clarified, “Yiddish for matchmaker.”

He looked contemplative. “You know, I don’t know how busy you are at work, my love, but I don’t have much going on. Want to take a mini second honeymoon?”

Fin looked at him lovingly and kissed John. “Yes. I’ll talk to Liv about it, I have some vacation days coming to me anyway. Be good to get out of the city.”

***

Fin knocked on the door to Liv’s office. “So, uh, you’re going to get an invitation from John and me soon for an anniversary party, but I wanted to talk to you about taking some vacation time after that.”

Liv nodded. “You do have quite a bit of time saved up from all the time we’ve been short-handed,” she said, glancing at his file. “Bit of a romantic getaway?” she teased with the comfort of long friends. 

“Yeah,” Fin said with a small smile. “Get out of the city, spend some quality time with John, celebrate.”

“How long has it been now?” Liv asked. “15 or 16 years?”

“We’re about to celebrate 16,” Fin said with a smile.

Liv thought back to the early days, when Fin had first started with John. Before she was a Lieutenant, or even a Sergeant, before the squad had changed so radically, back when Elliot was her partner. A lot had changed since then, and she had to say, all for the better. She looked down quickly at the pictures on her desk: multiple ones of Noah, and one small, discreet one of Barba. She thought about how she had found out – a story of long noticing small things and one crazy coincidence. 

She hoped, idly, that her relationship would stand the test of time, like Fin and John’s had – their late-in-life love story gave her hope sometimes.

“Congratulations,” she said warmly. “And of course, I’ll be there.”

*** 

Fin thought back. Sixteen years.

How they started. One night, one weird night, John moody all day from a case, and Fin – who hadn’t wanted to get involved ever again – finding himself inviting John out for a drink. That drink had turned into two, which had turned into three, and John had looked at Fin over the third and said seriously, if a bit drunkenly, “I can’t let myself get too close to you.”

“Fuck man, I can’t let myself get too close to you,” Fin answered immediately.

John had looked at him like a missing piece had been found, and Fin found himself withering under the intensity of that gaze. He had loved John already, as incorrigible as it was, but right now, John seemed to be thinking about sex, pure and simple, and _fuck_ he wanted it so badly.

They took a cab back to Fin’s apartment. John pushed him up against the wall and kissed him fervently, desperately, and Fin had responded, winding his arms around John and kissing back, running his hands down John’s back to his ass, pulling him close.

John tangled a hand in his ponytail and Fin moaned softly; he loved having his hair played with. John was sucking at his neck hard, and Fin was glad he didn’t bruise easily. Marks would’ve been hard to explain away the next day.

John slid gracefully to his knees and undid Fin’s pants, giving him a positively wicked look. Fin’s breath caught in his throat; he had imagined this moment so many times before, late at night with his hand wrapped around his dick. John licked a long stripe along Fin’s cock, and Fin shuddered. John grinned wickedly at him, licking again, testing what made Fin moan.

_Everything_ did right now, Fin felt like. It was crazy, he was being blown by his partner, a man, something he hadn’t expected (but wanted, a little voice said in his head, reminding him of his fantasies). John finally took him in his mouth and Fin felt like screaming but he didn’t, just a low moan of relief. John was sucking, still licking, too, somehow coordinating the two, and Fin wondered if he’d done this before because _fuck_ it was so good.

Fin tried to warn John that he was going to come but it came out as a strangled “John, I’m…”

John sucked harder, and Fin came down his throat.

Fin was slumped against the wall, panting, as John stood up and shook his legs out, muttering something about being too old for this. He hesitated a moment, then kissed John again, tasting himself on John’s tongue. He was undoing John’s belt, trying to get at John’s dick. He finally got his hand in John’s pants and pulled out John’s cock triumphantly, stroking it. It was weird, sorta like stroking his own but not, the angle all different, the size different, but close enough that it didn’t weird him out completely and he could do this.

John came in his hand, moaning into his mouth.

Fin pulled back, looking at the come on his hand and realized, _fuck_ , this couldn’t happen again. He was _not_ getting this close to his partner.

“This _never_ happened,” he said to John firmly.

John’s eyes shuttered, but he said evenly, “If that’s what you want, Fin.”

He put himself to rights and left Fin’s apartment. The next morning, neither of them made mention of it, and they settled back into a routine as coworkers and partners. 

*** 

It was maybe a month later, and Fin couldn’t stop thinking about that one encounter. It was all he thought about when he jerked off, every moment replaying itself in high-definition and surround sound. He was horny again tonight, and honestly, the thought of jerking off was a depressing one tonight.

He was toying with his cellphone, his finger hovering over John’s contact name. He had a good suspicion John would come over if he asked, but he was stone cold sober today, nothing to blame a sexual encounter on.

He finally dialed.

“You want to come over?” he asked.

“No,” John answered immediately. “I’m not playing this game, Fin. Either it’s happening or it’s not.”

Maybe he was just horny, maybe he was crazy, maybe it was that he was already in love (he had his suspicions it was the third), but hell, he wanted John and he could play by those rules, especially if John was going to give him more blowjobs like that. It still didn’t have to mean anything but sex between them; it didn’t have to be love and flowers and romantic dinners and attachment and getting involved properly. Fin didn’t feel like he was ready for that, even if he _did_ think he was in love with the crazy old bastard.

“Okay,” Fin said. “Fuck-buddies?”

He could _hear_ the eye-roll. “I prefer a slightly less crass term, Odafin,” John replied. “I’ll be there in 30.”

*** 

It settled into sex – _hot_ and rather frequent sex – but just sex between them. Fin sometimes had to bite his tongue hard to keep from blurting ‘I love you’ at this man, because _fuck it_ , he did. Had anyone asked him what on Earth he was thinking, why he was in love with someone certifiably nuts, he wouldn’t’ve been able to answer, just that he was. But he wasn’t sure John felt the same way, even with the look in John’s eyes sometimes or that soft smile that Fin caught as he turned to John. The one that disappeared right when he started looking at John. 

He didn’t know what to do. He still wasn’t sure how involved he wanted to get, but this wasn’t going away. 

He talked to Dr. Huang and resolved to talk to John – but John beat him to the punch. 

But now they were moving in together, properly together, and he was involved again. It felt right, though, felt like something he wanted, wanted badly. He woke up in the mornings and looked at John, fussing with his tie, and smiled, wondering what he had done to get so damn lucky, especially since he had tried his damnedest to push him away in the beginning.

*** 

Years had passed, years where they fell into a comfortable routine. Over a decade, in fact, just living together, surviving together, being together. Opening up slowly to others, finally to Fin’s son.

Fin’s son had gotten married, which had got Fin thinking. Neither of them were getting younger (time had a strange way of moving forward constantly) and it had been twelve years now. Twelve years, damn.

John had never said anything about marriage. Fin wasn’t sure why, but he had a hunch, of course – John had a _terrible_ track record when it came to marriage. If he wanted them to be married finally, he was going to have to propose.

He asked, late one night, the two of them sweaty and entangled in bed. John had just murmured “I love you,” in his ear, and Fin pulled back and looked deep into his eyes. 

“You want to make it official, John?” he asked.

“Is this your idea of a marriage proposal, Fin?” John asked.

“Yeah,” Fin answered with a laugh. “Guess so.”

“No sense of the romantic,” John sighed theatrically. “ _Where_ are the flowers? The elaborate proposal? The bending down on one knee? The ring?”

“I _did_ get a ring,” Fin said and reached into the nightstand drawer. He pulled out a box and handed it to John.

John opened it and snorted in laughter. “That’s a _cockring_ , Fin. I’m going to have to go out and get a matching one!”

“So you’ll marry me?”

John pulled him down for a languid kiss. “We haven’t killed each other yet; I suppose we might as well try making it official.”

“Now who’s being romantic?”

*** 

The party was in full swing; only Huang was missing. Fin had introduced John to Carisi and Dodds, and Carisi had shamefully admitted that he had spoken to John before – the first time he had actually admitted, even partially, how he had found out.

Both of them were in too good a mood to care, and John had clapped a hand on Carisi’s back and offered him a drink. “Right now, all that matters is that you’re here to celebrate, my friend,” John said. 

Carisi accepted the drink gratefully, his face still a bit red from embarrassment. 

They heard the doorbell go off and both of them went to go answer it.

Huang stood there, and they greeted him warmly. “I didn’t think you were going to make it,” John said, inviting him in.

Huang hovered uncertainly in the doorway. “I’m not sure you – or anyone else – wants me here, not after that trial,” he said.

John had heard about the trial from Fin, of course, _and_ that Huang had testified for the defense – a move which had upset all of them.

“Nonsense,” Fin said firmly.

“If _nothing_ else, given your help to how we started, we absolutely want you here,” John added, giving his partner an adoring look. “But we were colleagues, and, I hope, friends for years.”

Huang nodded gratefully and entered, accepting a drink from Fin. He looked around and went straight to Liv, conferring with her in quiet tones. Liv and Barba were standing together – because of course they were – and all of them seemed apologetic.

“Leave them be,” John said quietly to Fin. “Seemed that trial brought up a lot of demons for all of them. Be good to sort through it all; I’d want us _all_ to stay friends.”

Fin nodded and spied Amanda watching Carisi with her baby. “Time to play matchmaker,” he declared. 

“Now, Fin,” John said.

“You haven’t seen those two,” Fin said. “Man, they’re worse than we were when we were young.”

“Young? Please,” John scoffed. “But go, O Cupid.”

Fin sat down next to Amanda, watching as Carisi bounced Jesse. “He’s good with her,” he said.

“Yeah,” Amanda said, watching. “Yeah, he is. Lot of practice, apparently.”

“Y’know, Amanda, you _could_ just say something to the man,” Fin said, tapping her arm so that she looked at him, not Carisi.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said with dignity.

“Please,” Fin said. “Like it ain’t obvious you’ve been pining for him for months. And like it ain’t equally obvious he’s interested, too.”

Amanda’s eyes lit up. “You think?” she said, sneaking a look at Carisi, who was now singing softly to Jesse.

“You two are more obvious than John and I have _ever_ been,” Fin said. “And we’re throwing a damn party today. _Talk_ to him.”

“And say what?” Amanda asked. “Hey, I have a baby by another man, but want to try dating?”

Fin looked at Carisi. “Does it _look_ like he gives a damn about that? Girl, that man loves your baby like she’s his already. What are you afraid of?”

“Same thing you were afraid of,” Amanda said seriously. “You told me you didn’t tell John for nearly a year.”

“Hell, I didn’t tell John until he told me, but it’s painful watching you two. And you know what, someone told me to go for what I wanted. Now I’m returning the favor.”

Amanda stood up and went to Carisi. “Carisi… Sonny,” she said.

Carisi looked up, surprised to hear his nickname from anyone at the station. “Yeah?” he said.

“You want to grab a cup of coffee sometime, maybe? Maybe without the baby along?”

Carisi hoisted Jesse so that she fit in his arms better. “Amanda… you’re serious?”

“… Yeah, yeah I am,” she said, looking up at him. 

“Yes,” he said, “but I don’t want you thinking I don’t love your baby too. I know you two are a package deal.”

Amanda shot a grateful look at Fin, who waved back cheerfully.

“Done being a yenta?” John asked, sitting down next to Fin and lacing their fingers together. “We’ve got the whole squad paired off by now, except for Dodds.”

“Eh, I think he’s got a girlfriend,” Fin said. “And yes, I’m done interfering, if that’s what yenta means.”

Huang, Liv, and Barba joined them. “Sort it out?” John asked.

“We agreed what happens in the courtroom shouldn’t influence what happens outside of it,” Liv said carefully. 

John sighed. “I would hope so. We all worked together for years, Liv.”

Liv smiled slightly. “Yeah, we did; that’s why it was so tough.”

Huang shook his head. “You know my duties as a psychiatrist…”

“Let’s not start over,” John said, falling into a role as a peacemaker. “I don’t want a fight at this party. We’re celebrating today! Can we at least put it aside today? Dr. Huang is here as a close, personal friend.”

“Amen,” Fin said.

Liv smiled. “There’s a story there that I don’t think I’ve heard yet.”

Fin laughed, remembering that they’d both gone to Huang within days of each other. “Well, we hadn’t said ‘I love you’ yet – it was just sex at that point. I go to Huang –”

“If I’m a close, personal friend, I think you can call me George,” Huang put in softly. “And technically, John came to me first.”

“I did,” John said. “I went to him with some concerns – which I _won’t_ share, thank you – and he walked me through them, basically told me to tell Fin I love him. Couldn’t that night.”

“Next day, I go to Hu—sorry, George, with concerns of my own. He doesn’t mention, of _course_ , that John’s been there, just guides me through my concerns, tells me to tell John I love him. Go home and I’m thinking, ‘hell, how am I gonna start this conversation’? Well, John starts it, and I’m worrying, what’s going on? But I make a remark that I gotta thank George and John’s shocked – _he’s_ gotta, too. That’s when I asked John to move in with me, that’s when we first started looking for this apartment. Fifteen years later, we’re still in this apartment.” He kissed John’s cheek.

*** 

The party was over and they were on their way to Vermont. Close enough for a few days away but far enough out of the city for a romantic getaway. They’d reserved a room in a hotel and were determined not to leave it except for meals. John pushed Fin up against the wall. “You want to reenact our first date?” he asked huskily.

“Oh fuck yes, John,” Fin purred. John’s blowjobs had gotten, if anything, better with time, and he pushed on John’s head to encourage him downwards.

“Uh-uh,” John said. “I believe I tried to mark you first,” he said, then sucked hard at Fin’s neck. Fin went weak at the knees.

“Fuck, John…” His hands tangled in John’s hair, encouraging him. “My dick’s down there.”

“You weren’t so chatty then,” John said, sliding to his knees far less gracefully than he had sixteen years ago. He undid Fin’s pants and pulled his dick out. He looked up at Fin with a wicked grin and licked a long stripe up the underside of Fin’s cock.

Fin bucked his hips, desperate for more contact. This time, John knew what he liked, and he enveloped Fin’s cock for a moment, then let it go, blowing cool air on it. Fin hissed in pleasure, then said, “Damn, I _love_ it when you do that.”

“You never fail to tell me, my love,” John said, repeating the maneuver. Fin moaned, thumping his head against the wall. Sixteen damn years had taught his lover – his _husband_ – well, and John was using every trick in the book against him.

Finally, finally, John took him all the way in his throat with one long swallow and hummed, and Fin came with an inarticulate scream. He wasn’t usually so loud, but he’d been on knife-edge for ages, stuck between the wall and John’s talented mouth.

John stood up, shaking life back into his legs. Fin looked speculatively at John. “I know it’s not the way It went the first night, babe, but I want you to fuck me,” he said.

John didn’t need to be asked twice, he was already dragging Fin towards the bedroom. “Happy sixteenth, babe,” Fin said as he was pulled in.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Comments are love <3


End file.
